An alien walked into a bar and the bartender said, “What will it be?”
And the alien said, “I don’t drink.”
“Then why did you come in here?” asked the bartender.
And the alien said, “Because I thought that funnybone guy was going somewhere with this joke.”
“Why did the alien cross the road?”
“To abduct a chicken.”
“But why would an alien want to abduct a chicken?”
“There’s a shortage of brave people.”
“What is the difference between Superman and Clark Kent?”
“A pair of glasses.”
How come they haven’t changed Superman to Superperson?
“Why did Superman cross the road?”
“He had an identity crisis and thought he was a chicken.”
“How long did he think he was a chicken?”
“Not long. Superman realized who he was when an alien started to probe his anus.”
“And then what happened?”
“Superman fell in love and married the alien.”
“Did they live happily ever after?”
“Sometimes. And sometimes, they would argue when Superman wanted to do heroic deeds such as saving the Earth from an asteroid, and the alien would say, ‘You can save the world after you put out the garbage.’ “
“Why did Martin Luther King cross the road?”
“To convince KFC that chickens have civil rights.”
Was Martin Luther King killed by Lee Harvey Oswald, who had faked his death with the help of Jack Ruby and O.J. Simpson?
Some say that Oswald lives in South America with Adolph Hitler, Elvis Presley, and an alien who divorced Superman after Superman ran off with a chicken.
I had a dream. I don’t remember the details except that Martin Luther King was in it.
An alien walked into a bar and the bartender said, “What are you doing back here? I thought you didn’t drink.”
“I didn’t drink,” said the alien, “but now I do.”
“Why?” asked the bartender.
And the alien replied, “I started drinking after my Superman ran off with a chicken.”