The Trial of Jesus

Pontius Pilot:  I find nothing wrong with this man other than he is not wearing a mask.

Crowd:  CRUCIFY HIM!  CRUCIFY HIM!

Pontius Pilot:  What?  Do you want me to crucify him for not wearing a mask?

Crowd:  CRUCIFY HIM!  CRUCIFY HIM!

Pontius Pilot:  Okay, but I wash my hands.  I see no reason to crucify him and am only following your wishes.  (Turning to Jesus) This would never have happened if you had followed your parents’ wishes and become a doctor.

 

One thief to Jesus:  Are you sure the crosses are the proper social distance?  I don’t want to get any germs.

 

 

 

 

Thursday Night Before Good Friday

Jesus:  Judas, before you kiss me, have you been tested for COVID?

Judas:  Uh-er-no.

Jesus:  I shouldn’t let you kiss me, but go ahead.  I don’t want to ruin Easter.

 

 

Pfizer lobbied the Romans to pass this law:

No vaccination
No crucifixion

Before they were crucified, Jesus and the thieves had to get vaxxed.

 

We know this story has a happy ending.  On Easter Sunday, Jesus rose from the dead and walked into a bar.  The bartender said, “What will it be?”
“I’ll have some water,” said Jesus.
The bartender left and then returned with a glass of water.  Jesus waved his hand over the glass and the water turned into wine.
“Wow!” said the bartender.  “Are you the Son of God?”
And Jesus said, “Is The Pope Catholic?”
Jesus finished his wine and left the bar.  He returned to the cave to see whether the Easter Bunny had left him any chocolates.

 

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