Former Jobs

I am the Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated (EEI).  My duties as the Senior Imaginary Number include facilitating the impossible and funnybone-technicianing.  (A funnybone technician makes people not laugh.)

Before working at EEI, I worked at Perth Plungers Management & Repair (PPMR) as a doofus.  My duties as a doofus included being stupid.  But PPMR fired me because I was incompetent at being stupid.

I had a lot of fun working as a used flying-saucer salesman for Galaxy Used Saucers.  I got paid for playing with Anti and uncle gravity.  Strangely, though, most of my customers were from the Pentagon, and not outer space.

I had a brief stint working as a boat for a ship.  I quit because I got tired of coming home wet.

 One job smelled.  I worked as a wart at the end of a witch’s nose.  This job did not last.  I went away when the witch rubbed her nose with a toad.

I once had a secure job as a lock for Mon Key.  The job was engrossing and fastening, but I had to quit when my tumblers tumbled.

The best job I ever had happened while I was growing up.  I worked for Dooless & Seemore.  What fun doing less and seeing more!  Unfortunately, Peter Pan, who owned the company, fired me because I could not physically remain a boy.


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About the Author

I am Minnie and Chic's son.